Theresa May’s G string gets plucked by cabaret sensation Lord Hicks.

It might come as a surprise that I, Theresa May am a huge fan of sodomy. That’s why I sat down with sodomy’s greatest superstar and ukulele maverick Lord Hicks who will be giving my G string a jolly good plucking at the third edition of Theresa May’s Legs Akimbo that’ll be coming back to The Glory on Friday 19th October.

Theresa: Lord Hicks, how lovely it is to meet you. Talk to me about your title, is it hereditary or bought from a funny website online?

Lord Hicks: If you must know, my illustrious lineage was brought into being by my great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather by bending over for James I

T: You’ve been fingering those ukulele strings for quite a while now, when did you first start playing?

L: I’ve been stroking my instrument for quite some time now. By this Christmas it will be almost a decade of stroking.

T: You’re known around the world in countries that haven’t blocked the use of Youtube or sensitive content for your songs about Grindr, what does it feel like being a viral sensation?

L: Well not much has changed but I did get spotted in CO-OP once. That was an exceptional circumstance. I usually shop in Waitrose.

T: Boris Johnson keeps sending me an aubergine emoji in his text messages. I know my red lentil aubergine moussaka is good, but I don’t think it warrants explicit text messages followed by pictures of common groceries. Could you explain what they mean?

L: The aubergine has risen to pre-eminence as symbolic of the male member. For some reason the readily-available icons of the cucumber and banana didn’t quite cut the mustard.

T: You recently came back from the Edinburgh Fringe, did you get to see Nicola Sturgeon’s one-woman show ‘Miss Independent: My Life in 00s R&B hits’?

L: No. But I did see that Ripley’s ‘Like A Sturgeon’ made quite the splash.

T: If I had any talent I sure wouldn’t be Prime Minister, but a girl’s got to pay the rent somehow! What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done for money?

L: Money? I’ve done atrocious things for love, but never money.

T: Do you think I have any hope in hell of still being Prime Minister next year? Just because I’m hoping to take up the ukulele next year and want to make sure I have enough time to practice.

L: I think if this country goes sailing of the precipice of a no-deal Brexit then you’ll have enough time to become the greatest virtuoso ukuleleist this generation has ever seen.

Join Lord Hicks, Tracy ‘La Bouche’ Barlow and Theresa May on Friday 19th October for Theresa May’s Legs Akimbo, the campest, most outrageously politically incorrect cabaret show you could imagine!

Buy early comer tickets now!

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