Like many modern, forward thinking, professional women I have a Netflix subscription. There’s nothing I prefer more than cuddling up with Phillip May and unwinding with a (very) large glass of wine and binge watching a box set.
For me, nothing can beat Orange is the New Black, something about those women being trapped in confinement makes it so relatable! That’s why I was so excited to have ex-convict turned songbird beauty, Tracy ‘La Bouche’ Barlow perform at my hit cabaret show Theresa May’s Legs Akimbo. I sat down with the starlet to ask her a few questions ahead of her performance on 19th October;
Thanks Tracy for meeting with me today. My husband’s a huge drag fan, he’s watched every episode of drag race. What will you be performing at Legs Akimbo?
Eeeee is he really?! Oh y’all wanted a twist EH?! All right 10 Downing Street let’s get SICKENINGGG! Can you death drop, Theresa? It’s something that all the kids are doing these days – I started it but don’t go in for it anymore: I taught my good friend, Cheryl, (she’s from Essex) how to do it and it’s sort of become her thing so I don’t do it but I don’t mind because it’s helping her career and I don’t need it. I might show the children how it’s REALLY done at the show you’ve asked me to come along to though – I’m not sure WHAT I’ll do but, let’s face it, it’s going to change people’s lives.
Like me, you have such a busy schedule. I manage my time by letting everything crumble around me until it’s too late and hope people have forgotten about what they’ve asked me to do. How do you manage your time?
I am busy, Theresa. I’m busy, busy, busy. I’m as busy as a bee who’s trying to escape the reality of his failed marriage and the pugnacious brats he’s slaved away for to put through the best private school honey could buy. When you’re as busy as me, you have other people to deal with everything for you, so really you just have to show up and ‘do your thang’, as the kids are saying these days. One day, you might reach that level of business, Theresa.
I’m thinking of changing my name to Theresa Kajagoogoo May. Was the 90s dance music duo ‘La Bouche’ the inspiration behind your middle name?
I’m unfamiliar. In terms of inspiration, a letter written in red ink from Granada Television served well in making me realise I needed something of a new identity. I dyed my hair red once I got out of prison: I thought ‘new hair, new me!’, and since I’ve been spouting celestial secrets (all of which have been proven 101% true) the French have been calling me ‘La Bouche’, which is funny because my nickname in prison was already ‘the mouth’.
Be My Lover by La Bouche will be Theresa May's walk on music at the upcoming Conservative Party Conference.
You’re known for your beauty, style and grace- how do you think I could update my look to appeal to a younger, more image conscious generation?
Actually, Theresa, I’m known for my beauty, style, grace and HUMILITY, but thank you anyway. I think you’re right to want to update your look to appeal to the younger generation: watch five minutes of The Kardashians and you’ll see that kids today will overlook even the most utterly vapid and tasteless undesirables, nobodies really, if they have surgically-inflated bottoms and scraped-back faces pumped with silicone – so there is hope for you too, dear!
What was it like in prison, I’m thinking it’s starting to look like a much nicer alternative?
In some ways I miss it, you know. Free meals, free showers, free telly, in some ways I’d never felt more free. Of course, you’re used to having the tax-payer pick up your tab so you might not feel the benefit, but when the lights go out on you and your new roomy you’re definitely going to feel something.
How will the drag scene be affected by the UK possibly crashing out of the EU?
It doesn’t bear thinking about, really. I don’t think the UK will ever leave the EU, it just sounds ridiculous to me. Unless they hold some sort of referendum to ask people if they want to leave AND BY SOME CRUEL TWIST OF FATE THEY VOTE THEY DO!! But I don’t see it happening, sorry, but I don’t. And you can trust me: I’m a prophet.