Theresa May talks tucking, frosted Shreddies and Peter Mandelson with lipsync assassin​ Crystal Lubrikunt.

There is no thrill quite like putting on your favourite heels and dancing on the table tops at a London gay bar. When me and my girls (Michael Gove, David Davies and Phillip Hammond) want to let our hair down we love nothing more than getting plastered on a couple of bottles of Pinot grigio at our favourite East London haunt The Glory. That’s why I’m thrilled to be hosting my brand new cabaret show Theresa May’s Legs Akimbo on Thursday 28th June at the venue where Michael and I first took Tina and got off with two hairy bears. Early bird tickets are on sale now so you’d be silly not to get them whilst they last!

I’ve managed to pull in some of the UK’s most fabulous cabaret performers for the show like internationally renowned award-winning cabaret artiste Crystal Lubrikunt who I’ve been lucky enough to interview…

The last queen I saw was Peter Mandelson, she did a lovely Shirley Temple routine. How would you describe yourself?

First of all Theresa, I must say you’re looking extra concerned today but anyway, I would describe myself simply as ‘a talentless man in a wig.’

Where does your surname come from? I’m assuming Lubrikunt is German nein?

Lubrikunt is a just a reference to how useful lubricant is in life but I shove the ‘kunt’ in there in order for people to say the word ‘c*nt’ because personally, I don’t think the word should be seen as an insult because that would mean that the female genitalia is insulting when it really should be worshipped.

Almost every London gay bar has closed down, sometimes it feels like the Houses of Parliament are the only place for wooly woofters to meet up. Where can we usually find you?

Here, there and everywhere which I know you’re a massive fan of traveling across borders and being with other cultures but let me restrict myself to the British isle for your benefit. I’m commonly found here in London Town at The Glory or Freedom Bar, DYMK in Bournemouth and O’Neill’s in High Wycombe.

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Jane McDonald’s Drag Race has taken over television. How do you feel about the show?

Jane McDonald? I’d rather talk about our Cilla.

You must have to deal with troublesome audience members, how would you recommend I deal with troublesome cabinet ministers?

Show them where the door is!

How hard do you like your Brexit in the morning?

No Brexit at all, she’s innocent you see!

Philip Hammond asked me how to tuck the other day, do you have any advice?

Believe in your tuck and you too will be strong & stable.

I once had a ménage á trois with Floella Benjamin and Eamonn Holmes in a field just off from Hemel Hempstead, what’s the naughtiest thing you’ve ever done?

Sneak some Frosted Shreddies into a bowl of normal Shreddies.

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Whatever your political persuasion, join me Theresa May for the campest knees up you could possibly imagine! Legs will be kicking from 8pm so arrive early to bag a good seat.

Lots of Love,
Theresa May
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