A Fag Goes Wild in Edinburgh- Days 4, 5 & 6

A Fag Goes Wild In Edinburgh

Fringe fatigue has well and truly set in! I apologise for my unexplained absence, I bet I had you all on tenterhooks anticipating my next pithy column.  You must remember I am here on official business, as a member of the press don’t you know…well kind of.

Fringe is so rich with art that it’s often hard to work out what’s best to see. Budding thespians, clowns, musicians and puppeteers will force their flyers at you till your black and blue. They’ll use Derren Brown like techniques to convince you to spend an hour of your time in their company. Sometimes your risk pays off, other times…well you’ll be wondering how best to make your escape for freedom!

I’ve sussed out these selling techniques to such a degree that I should have a qualification in marketing. Read below to work out how to sort the great from the naff

 

Comedy:
Comedians will peddle their shows in two ways,

  1. They’ll offer the worst review they’ve ever received in an attempt to seem nonchalant and witty, with the right comedian this can work wonders, but choose wisely!
  1. ‘Come see this [insert adjective] improv show about Trump/ May/ Boris Johnson [delete where appropriate]’

Theatre:
‘A theatre show about life’ will be the calling words of a naive guy trying to sell his hastily written show. You’ll take sympathy on the poor boy, like yourself he had a dream once…

Dance:
Dancers will look you straight in the eye and guilt trip you into watching them prance around a crumbling stage, you’ll wonder how on earth they can get their legs up that high…you’ll probably also try and reenact the routine when you get back to your lodgings.

Music:
Musicians will shyly cower in the corner hoping, waiting for someone to approach them to advertise their one hour flute recital. If the show’s free I highly recommend you take up the offer it’ll make you feel cultured and that’s what Fringe is all about.

Children’s shows:
Puppets, creepy puppets everywhere. Watch out on the Royal Mile as a string of marionettes slowly bumble towards you. Lets be honest though, the only people bringing children to the Fringe are Guardian readers, so they’ll probably love it.

Musical Theatre:
‘It’s a musical like no other’ claims every budding Elaine Paige throwing her jazz hands around on the Royal Mile. Harmless, but at 10.00am in the morning a full gusto of show tunes is not my particular cup of tea.

Much Love,
Fagulous
x

 

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